When the Tigers announced it had scheduled Furman this year, chills raced down my spine. Could it be true? A real celebrity would be coming to the Zou? Not since Sheryl Crow performed on campus has Mizzou been blessed with such a star.

If you’re wondering who I’m talking about, let me show you.

Do you like my hair? Of course you do.

I’m sure you recognize the haircut as “The Hoover.” It derives its name from the Hoover Vaccuum used by the popular Flowbee haircutting tool. Hoover also named a high school near Birmingham after himself leading to the hairstyle being worn by all cool Hoover kids. I’m not making this up. All the Hoover guys wear their hair like that. Remember John Parker Wilson, Alabama QB?

JPW prepping for the SEC Championship game

The formerly shaggy superstar touring Missouri and gracing our Faurot is none other than Max Lerner, star of Two-a-Days. I told you this was a big deal.

You remember Max, right? Of course, he wasn’t the one with the sexy girlfriend and all the drama. That was Alex Binder, who if you will recall dumped his hot girlfriend in order to date a freshman cheerleader.  Life is full of hard decisions.  No, Max’s storyline was of an overbearing step-father Max could never make happy. Max’s step-dad was at every practice in Coach Rush’s ear about his step-son’s misgivings, which lead to the mean coach barking at Max and Max making mistakes. That was the MTV storyline – Max was a good athlete and obedient son, but really sucked at playing football.

But, it was his storyline. He was the star. And now he’s coming to Mizzou with his supporting cast of Paladins and we’re all the better for it. When told how excited Columbia, Missouri is to see Max, he was absolutely thrilled.

I’m absolutely thrilled.

So are we, Max.  We even like the new ‘do.

Now, truth be told, it seems that MTV got it wrong. Hard to believe, but it seems that it wed itself to the overbearing step-dad story and focused on all of Max’s fuckups to support it. Even when Max was looking good – unofficial visit to Southern Miss – it was just to set up yet another failure. No offer. Poor Max. Poor Max?, says his step-dad. What about me, I’ve got a nogoodnick for a step-son who expects me to pay for his college.  Oh Jim, you’re not even his real dad!

Contrary to how he was portrayed on the show, Max might be pretty good.  While this realization shakes the confidence I have in MTV, it makes for a more exciting visit from Max – the conquering hero.  The ne’er-do-well who did well, overcoming the evil step-father and prick of a coach.  I always hated that Rush guy – the perfect villain.  Max is the starting Rover for a decent 1AA football program.  Last year, his sophmore year, he was in on 86 tackles and had four INTs.  In two games this year he’s had 12 tackles and last week he picked one off and took it to the house, resulting in being named SoCon’s Defensive Player of the Week. 

Like I said, conquering hero.  I don’t know about you, but I will be hanging out in the Furman hotel looking for an autograph.