Say what?  Why didn’t anyone tell me that a new professional football league was starting?  Come on, people. 

I love professional football leagues, the more fledgling the better.  I was a rabid USFL fan – loved the Michigan Panthers with their cool helmets and electric WR Anthony “the Darter” Carter. 

What pre-teen football enthusiast wouldn’t fawn over that panther?   It was absolutley positively my favorite panther until I was introduced to Sex Panther. 

I was an XFL fan, too.  Sure, why not?  Much of it bugged me, bored me, and boggled my mind, but He Hate Me and no PATs (that’s right – absolutely no Patricks were allowed in the league, which, of course, is a good thing) had me intrigued and tuning in. 

I followed the World League and NFL Europe enough to know where my Rams were playing, how they were doing, and which teams were the best.  I loved the Barcelona Dragons because their logo was of an evil clown-like dragon Stephen King must have dreamed up.  Seriously, is that Pennywise?

See what I mean?  It. 

Ok, so the United Football League, clearly an awesome new league for aspiring footballers, will crank up in October and go through Thanksgiving.  Billing itself as Where Future Stars Come to Play, it seems it fancies itself as a developmental league, but there appears to be no tie with the NFL.  The guys heading it up are a former Wall Street jockey and a Googleite.   I invite you to click on the link and read more about it, but here’s some stuff that caught my attention. 

Only four teams – Las Vegas, Orlando, San Francisco, and New York.  Hartford and LA will field teams in 2010.   No mascots yet as far as I can tell.   I’m sure they’ll be incorrectly spelled action-invoking intimidating words.  I recommend Xterminatorz or Lopperz or Rapiztas.  Something with Xs and Zs for no reason other than to let the other team that you are so mean you can’t bother to spell words properly.

Last night the UFL (rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?) held its first (and last?) draft.  Each team took 24 players – no Missouri Tigers were taken.  A review of the draft reveals a few interesting tidbits.

New York Krazee-Eyes Killahs:

• Coached by Ted Cottrell, passed over for a head coaching job no more – good (?) for him….
• CJ Bacher, our Alamo Bowl rival, and Brian Johnson, Sugar Bowl King, will battle with Mark Sanchez as best NY rookie QB.
• Shannon Woods from Texas Tech will have a chance to run the ball for the Rapiztas.

Las Vegas Legalized Prostitution:

• Jim Fassel coached. 
• Did not draft a QB.  I like that strategy.
• Brandon Moore, LB out of OU a long time ago, was taken.
• Former Ram Adam Archuleta will have a shot to revive his career with LV.

Orlando Pederazzzzzts:

• Coached by Jim Haslett, fresh off a 2-10 stint with the Rams.
• Brooks Bollinger for Wiscy will play QB and Michigans’ Chris Perry will tote the ball.
• Orlando thinks they can win without a single Big 12 player.  Good luck with that.

San Francisco Sykopathz:

• Coached by the always crazy Dennis Green.
• SF is rolling with zero Big 12 alums and two players from the Ivy. 
• Three QBs were drafted, including Shane Boyd, Brett Dietz, and Liam O’Hagan.  Yeah….that’s what I thought.
• Drafted an OT with the last name Lekkerkerker – certainly, that’s an alias.  Right?

The rosters will be filled out as players start getting dropped by the NFL.  The first team to grab up a Tiger will earn my loyalty.

Long live the UFL!